[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":71},["ShallowReactive",2],{"\u002Fblog\u002Fthe-chinese-farmer":3},{"id":4,"title":5,"body":6,"category":59,"date":60,"description":12,"draft":61,"excerpt":62,"extension":63,"image":64,"meta":65,"navigation":66,"path":67,"popular":61,"seo":68,"stem":69,"__hash__":70},"blog\u002Fblog\u002Fthe-chinese-farmer.md","The Chinese Farmer, Claustrophobia & other short stories",{"type":7,"value":8,"toc":55},"minimark",[9,13,16,22,25,28,31,34,37,40,43,46,49],[10,11,12],"p",{},"A poor widowed Chinese farmer had nothing but a horse and a son to call his own. One fateful day, the horse got lost and all his neighbours came around saying, \"that's too bad\" to which he said \"Maybe.\" The horse later on returned bringing with it six others (please don't ask me where from) and the neighbours came around saying, 'Well, that's good fortune.' To this the farmer said,'Maybe.' While trying to tame the new horses, the son fell and broke his leg. The neighbours came around saying, \"That's too bad\". At this point I believe the farmer ought to have asked them to find something to do, but he said, 'Maybe.' The following day, the Emperor declared war and all able-bodied men were dafted into the war. The farmer's son was spared and did not have to hide like our guy Jussup from the Caucasian Chalk Circle. The neighbours said that to be good fortune, and of course, the farmer responded with a cold maybe. The story goes on and on, and I hope and pray that the neighbours learned to mind their business at some point but that's besides the point.",[10,14,15],{},"This Taoist parable, called Sai Weng Lost His Horse, is packed with lessons that now more than ever I need. I am in an unprecedented time of my life (intentionally avoided saying season at the risk of sounding too churchy) where only the Chinese farmer makes sense. The most obvious lesson that I also really love is on suspending judgement as to what is a tragedy and a triumph. It is a tale of radical skepticism that makes it impossible to classify something as good or bad. The story embodies a doctrine by Stoic philosophers on rightful detachment from things that are beyond our control. Epictetus and other like-minded philosophers termed this as the Dichotomy of Control. The doctrine is founded on the understanding that some things are within our control while some are not. It is a practice that calls for understanding what is and what is not within our control. The key to living a full and happy life is to identify what is within our control and worry only about that.",[17,18,19],"quote",{},[10,20,21],{},"Even when it's not pretty or perfect. Even when it's more real than you want it to be. Your story is what you have, what you will always have. ~Michelle Obama",[10,23,24],{},"What happens then when life does not seem to be matching up to the plan you had?",[10,26,27],{},"Going back to the dichotomy of control, please ensure you have done all that you can do in your capacity with what you have first. After that, trust in your journey and wait to see its beauty unveil. I recently stumbled upon a TikTok sound that reasonated with me so much so that you need to read it here. It said that there is no such thing as being behind in life, there's only where you are on the path you are creating. To be behind means to be behind someone walking the same path as you. No one is walking the same path as you.",[10,29,30],{},"If you're like me and feeling stuck, the worst thing you could do is look around and compare yourself to those that seem to be advancing and progressing. Comparison really is the thief of joy. This applies even to those who may actually have achieved the goals they had for themselves. Comparison will not let you bask in the glory of your achievement as the goal post are constantly changing, and you will always be trying to measure up.",[10,32,33],{},"Say you have mastered contentment and do not compare yourself to your peers, why then do you still feel like a failure? I bet you have set age as a marker of success and attached it to other significant markers such as your career, family and lifestyle. Remember that time is an abstract concept used by carbon-based life forms to measure their constant decay. While it is good to make plans and have timely goals, we cannot be hell-bent on things working precisely as we would hope they do considering we do not have control over everything.",[10,35,36],{},"It is human and okay to feel disillusioned and sad when things do not go to plan. You are allowed to mourn the life you had desired that may not actually be actualized. We often attach joy and fulfillment to the desires in the future. In failing to achieve these things, we are also saying goodbye to the happiness we had attached to the idea.",[10,38,39],{},"While there may be joy in our delayed or unfulfilled dreams, I believe it calls for realization that joy can be found outside the things too. It is up to us to open up to the idea that our fulfillment and contentment may find us by other means. Do not restrict yourself to a narrow definition of what your success looks like.",[10,41,42],{},"Another lesson I am learning is that delay should not justify compromise. I am allowed to negotiate, restrategize but not let the standard that I had set drop. However different from my initial plan, growth means figuring out what I can do where I am with what I currently have. In her latest book, The light we carry, Michelle says that's it okay to pace yourself, get a little rest and speak of your struggles out loud. Small endeavours help to guard our happiness, to keep us from getting consumed by what is big. So tidy up your space, take a walk, tend to your garden, talk to a friend, create the art before you worry about changing the world. You'll soon realize that things are not as bad as they seem. Hang in there; I hear the better days are still coming.",[10,44,45],{},"While I would like to portray endless positivity, I have someone I would wish to let out my frustration on. We need to collectively agree that once we lay our hands on the genius who put the light at the end of the tunnel, they shall face our wrath. Why would they think that it was a good idea? I think the long con was not even in the light, this tunnel is endless and i'm clearly claustrophobic.",[10,47,48],{},"This is for anyone who may be groping in the dark, trying to find their way in the tunnel, those who see flickers of light and keep going, those who are on their knees and almost down, those who sit by the sides in the dark in despair. For as long as you chase that light,",[50,51,52],"remarks",{},[10,53,54],{},"Please allow yourself to stay hopeful, delusional even, if that's what it takes to hold the line.",{"title":56,"searchDepth":57,"depth":57,"links":58},"",2,[],"Lifestyle","2023-07-17",false,null,"md","\u002Fimg\u002Fthe-chinese.webp",{},true,"\u002Fblog\u002Fthe-chinese-farmer",{"title":5,"description":12},"blog\u002Fthe-chinese-farmer","cpJf8TQD16l7R24lXodXvUH-ChCy33C2qhmGSXya0ug",1790669030715]